My Companion Constantly Wants to Talk About Herself: Should I Cut Her Off?

I have been friends for over two decades, who has overcome many obstacles, her resilience is commendable. However, she's constantly blindsided by people. Her husband ended their marriage, and it was a massive blow. A lot of close acquaintances disappeared during that time, since they had been focused solely on him. This surprised her deeply. She made more effort in our friendship, and must have realised more clearly what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Over the years, quite a few of her friends have disappeared without her being sure why. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she had been an excellent employee, her exit happened unaware of what had changed.

Current Dynamics

Lately, we have each retired so we're spending frequent meetups, yet I realize my role in the relationship feels one-sided. I open topics of conversation only for her to redirect the talk toward what interests her. Regarding political views, she has strong opinions. My effort is to recommend verifying facts and alternate views.

She is planning a vacation to a country I've visited repeatedly and lived in previously. I attempted to provide personal experiences, however, my input not welcomed. She really solely sought validation of her plans. I've just ended 30 days in that place she hopes to meet, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to be a friend who abandons suddenly without a word, however, I feel she can understand the impact of her actions on how I feel about myself. At this point, my state is distancing myself. What's the best step?

Ways Forward

It's possible to cut and run, yet this is not often the peaceful resolution that we desire. However, addressing it with a view to working things out takes courage and openness from both people.

Professional advice indicates applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one requires explaining the usual pattern when you talk. Aim for this to be based on facts and basically exactly what occurs. The second is to tell the way it leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no dispute here. What you feel belong to you, naturally. Finally is to ask ways you together can shift the dynamics between you."

Keep in mind that she also has a point of view, so you need to remain ready to listen to her. An approach that works is to say your friend:

"Now you talk and I'm going to not say anything for 30 minutes."

Closing Considerations

This person may dismiss your concerns, for those who cling to a “survival narrative”: they rely on a story about themselves they cannot let go of since their identity is tied to it and it represents they've known. This poses a challenge because there's no thoroughfare in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might initially present like this then consider your perspective. And should a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have peace that you've been truthful.